Notebook 057

(Sex, drugs and missed parole?)

Continuous spuratic reflux of electrical criss-crossing. Tiny whining plane dive. BOOM! Fire fire call my counsellor, I don’t think she’s going to make it. Lashes flutter and clip clop to the seventh of the horsemen. Shiny barrel chambers shoot liquid paraffin to dribble across your face. My God. My Jesus. The time is now we learn Mary was a whore. Cross you crucifix twice fold inwards and shatter the walls of your gut. Pink and yellow puss will smother your burnt and grazing belly to boil and pop at seams. Blink mother fucker and the whole city goes down tonight. Pistol out your cheek, marrowboned and dry it’ll make a pretty necklace. Maggots. As if you saw a shiny white perspex jaw filled with irony blood and spitting mist into your inhalation. Rinse and spit. Repeat if necessary. Camo fuck this pattern worn. Black stain flakes on fingers which snap snap to the quantised rhythm of your swan song. Strangled cats. Deliver me a carcass ripe and worn and dressed all pretty like a pre-teen beauty queen. Pagant. Pagant. Hang them all and leave to bleed dry their tiny little angel faces so I can cut them off at the neck and sit them on my bed. Come come little children, daddy’s got a story to tell. Oh you’re all so eager eyed and wide! Such soft little ears do cup my conversation well. Adorn me. Lashes stroke and flicker blind. Flicker flicker flicker fall. “A ring, a ring of roses. A pocket full of poseseys. I kiss you. I kiss you. We all go down.” On each other. Panting stops. Messed up frocks. Pitter patter says the rain to the only eye awake. Spastic stutters fit out of gaping mouths, scratching away at the ridged flesh and shadows. “My mummy got a motorbike.” He said before he jumped from cliff to sea. “We’re safe in here, from mice and stripes and nobody can gloss my eyes!” Splash into waves. Snap into shards. Week on, week off and still no body found. Stainless steel glints in a forth-fucked dance. Naked and sterile she’s hovering for suspense. Creak creak creak. Entry. Hands so delicate and slow to touch like crystalline glass. A ridge a mount. A bare chest collapsing and rising to the pulse of the air. Moonlight douses as softly as hair. One step. Two step. Tickly under there. She’s gasping. Eyes filled with water, I do believe they’re the most beautiful windows I have ever seen. Fairground facelift and silicone soliloquy’s. Twister twister hey there mister. Shoot the ducks for a special prize, but fuck them in the eye for jackpot. Oh how we danced that night. No music. No beat. Just wind and screaming and the sound of last breaths gargling under the weight of blood. Dearest brother of mine, please rape all my fortune. The sheets are soiled and know how you have a taste for it. Smother smother sniff and cover. I tense your arm, veins full and fat. Splice inside with a skinny silver fellow and he shall blow a glorious wind into your lungs. Sing. Bellow your energy into lyric and to foxtrot. It doesn’t last for ever and my fiend won’t prick for nought. Oh sweet mother I’m scarred from the incest. “…in the name of the father, the spirit and the holy ghost. Amen. No ice barman, I’m going to beat my wife tonight( and I want to feel it?).” Rounded off and humming, it chills till my fingers feel bone. So fat dressed in black yet slender in skin. Latching like meat hooks around waist, hip and stomach. Knees itchy for movement. Held breath. Twitching tendons. Tick tick tock of the timekeeper talking. “Age is harness and youth is the child. Drag backwards for scythe and skeleton. Let crawl and walk for the wings.” Littered with numeracy he spoke in number and formula. I was lithe and laxated. A dripping liquid to his form. Such hollow and rasping was his voice, small and fragile with sincerity. Flammable and twice as vaporising, he moved in silken lines. Boisterous in surroundings cracks and pores spilled over onto the floor. He was air and wall, in glasses and a cardigan. Cut around the dotted line and silhouette presented itself near. Nothing was as stricken as I. Sunbeams heated brick a warmer shade, iridescent and splintered, just a cracked brow sweated for lust. Mercy mercy me. We’ll float them in the sea. We’ll bruise their gown, then throw them down. Mercy mercy she. Movement was still for the sunset as all direction headed towards the sun. Mugs were empty of voice and argue. Leaves hung onto branches, scared to break the silence. It sunk hard, deep and slow like a finger breaking skin. And then night came. Before faces could blink or exhale turn to inhale, the moon was in bravado to all the white specks around him. Slot machines lit into neon and currency clinke hard into laughter and liquid. The night was rye with exhuberance. Arms linked and fluttered around gangs and mobs, friendly and warm. No other could care so highly for broken brick and plastic up than the lips that chanted their showers to sleep. “hush hush baby dear. I’ve been gone for five months. You should have known you’d end up in here.” He was right. She was wrong. Parted and easy, nothing came between her other than his direction. Starward and eager. Tousled hair ran through fingers as they all talked and whispered, cheeks flared red from friction. He was right. She was wrong. Neither cared for commitment.